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Quiz: New Instagram Filter or Indie Band Name?

By , on December 17, 2014 at 10:30 am

In case you missed it, Instagram released five new filters yesterday, their first new filters in two years. Predictably, the names of the filters bordered on self-parody.

How so? Let’s play New Instagram Filter or Indie Band Name and find out!

1. Crema

Like the fresh finish to your espresso, Crema evokes precision, craftsmanship, flavor and the grit of all those tough barista jobs they had to work on the way to stardom. Still, don’t sleep on Crema, which, just when you least expect it, hits you with a caffeine jolt that lifts your spirits, and briefly touches your soul.

Answer: Instagram filter! I guess it looks a little brown, or something?

2. Objekt

Objekt is experimental to its core, but it never considers polish and passion to be mutually exclusive, and uses such seminal influences not to revive the past, but to reinvent it for his own purposes. Objekt is dedicated to its icons while subverting their methods because he does so with the avant-garde spirit passed down through their work.

Answer: Indie band! Read a review here and check out their music here.

3. Whirr

Moody and indrawn, Whirr seems to be about nothing in particular. It’s striving to recontextualize itself for a far different time and place, but being trapped in the amber of the past, as beautiful as that can be, has its limitations. In its winning attempt to paralyze you, Whirr may have paralyzed itself.

Answer: Indie band! Read a review here and check out their music here.

4. Ludwig

With central European roots and an appreciation of the full Western canon, Ludwig brings a level of virtuosity and precision that you don’t often find from their contemporaries. Evocative of late nights in the smoky cafes of Europe’s grand old capitals, Ludwig takes you to the past at the same time as they show you the way to new, different future.

Answer: Instagram filter! Feels, I dunno, tough and gritty?

5. Shellac

It’s like Shellac took a look at what it was doing and pulled everything apart, rediscovering the level of discomfort that drives it, and working out why it really needs to be doing this in the process.

Answer: Indie band! Read a review here and check out their music here.

6. Perpetua

An epic vision that goes on and on and on, letting you explore pathways and directions you weren’t even sure you knew were there. It’s the perfect accompaniment to a night that never ends and a tomorrow which might never arrive.

Answer: Instagram filter! Kind of blurry out there in the distance? Or just squinty?

7. Aden

There’s something self-aware and almost bitingly melancholic about Aden, as well as a slight suggestion that things are not as serious as they may seem. Aden is deeply personal and in no way instructive, but it might help save you from yourself.

Answer: Instagram filter! Maybe leafy and autumnal? That sound about right?

8. Felicita

It’s strange world, where the usual laws of physics don’t apply. Felicita is like crashing through the ceiling into a tearoom filled with rubber duckies. It tickles and discomforts in equal measure—just like a snail tracing a glittery path up your cheek.

Answer: Indie band! Check out a review here and their music here.

9. Alvvays

Young lovers may fantasize about marital bliss, but the rigid reality favors lingering student loans over floral arrangements. And while talk of alimony and simply signing some papers may sound mundane and stripped of courtship, Alvvays’ sincere yearning convinces us otherwise. This is the maudlin ideal of the 21st century.

Answer: Indie band! Check out a review here and their music here.

10. Slumber

Like the wind-down of the best day of your life, there’s something atmospheric and intimate about Slumber. It creeps into empty spaces, like slow-released vapor, intertwining bright moments to create something simultaneously haunting and inviting.

Answer: Instagram filter! Looks like it’s rainy and sad and better for sleeping and umbrellas?

Thanks a ton to the good folks at Pitchfork and Stereogum for all the, um, inspiration. 

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Categories: Industry News, Instagram